« d3spite : Strippers are really manipulative,...
Their job is to separate you from your money and make you enjoy it. They are experts in making a connection and understanding motivations. (If you are a psychology student, you could get quite a few excellent papers from them - if your cash holds out.)
...also why can't I get a job taking off my clothes for women.
I would do that in a heartbeat.
You can, but most of those guys date each other, so you wouldn't get women that way either. Also, women get rowdy. Most men's clubs (excepting the occasional bachelor party) are pretty sedate. Guys watch and are generally not permitted to touch. If they get too rowdy, the get escorted to the curb. Women just go nuts.
PS I was really surprised by how attractive they were I thought I would be kind of gross and I would leave in like 20 minutes but apparently not.
I screwed up and got old. I quit going to those places the second time I looked up on stage and said "My KIDS are older than her!" Felt too much like kiddie porn and I left.
So uhh anyone have strip club stories or stories of that nature?
I have a few, but I will leave you with 2:
- My last visit, I was on a business trip and one of my companions knew a "place that has great steaks". They did. They also put the name of the holding company on the receipt and listed alcohol as simply "beverages", so business guys could get it on the expense account. (I do not know how they would have listed a lap dance, but I am sure someone thought of that, too.) My buddies knew that my wife was OK with it if we went to such places, but that I don't do lap dances. Unfortunately, every girl that came over immediately sat on MY LAP (moved my keys to my jacket after the second surprise visitor.) Turns out my cowboy hat was novel enough to attract their attention. Once they were on my lap, it became a bit awkward for my buddies to ask for a dance, and I wasn't buying. They eventually quit coming over when they realized we weren't buying the extras. They missed a bunch of money by not picking another lap. The only reason I can figure for coming one at a time was that we were a small group (3) and they didn't want to cut in on each other's customers.
- At USC, my freshman year, our dorm staged a fund-raiser. Since the dorm was Trojan Hall, and we were all frustrated freshmen, we thought "what better way to collect together a large group of horny women than to stage a male-strip revue." The first annual Men Of Trojan Hall strip review was born. I was head of security, and nearly got beat up by one of the dancer's boyfriends when I wouldn't let him backstage (since it was his boyfriend, he thought he was exempt from going through the front and paying full price.) Seems they were also workout buddies and on the weight lifting team. He was VERY large. I had some backup just inside the door, listening to this guy scream like a little girl (seriously, he was weeping). When I knocked on the door with the "I need help out here" knock, my backup peeked out, closed the door and LOCKED MY ASS OUT. I managed to convince this guy that his man would come home all horny for him and that we wouldn't let him have sex with any of the girls. Once the show started, we found out that one of the dancers had planned a few surprises without warning us. He planted a couple of girlfriends in the audience to jump on stage and planted a large balloon full of milk in his pants. Well, first, for what he wanted to "simulate", milk is a poor choice. A quart of milk in a long balloon is a VERY bad choice. He popped it and coated the stage in liquid. His girls jumped on stage to join the dance, and most of the audience tried to follow them. We now had a couple of dozen drunk women trying to climb on stage that was wet and slick. We had 4 guys doing security, and two were watching the door. Up until then I had assumed that being pawed by a large group of horny drunk women would be a GOOD thing. WRONG! I wasn't the object of their attention, I was an obstacle. It wasn't quite a riot, and we did manage to not get raided. Once we got audience back to their section, and dancers back to their area, we tried to continue with the next guy (the last dancer). Did I mention that the stage was soaking wet? He didn't break anything, but he wasn't happy. Bottom line - We had a couple of hundred women show up, pay the cover and buy beer, so we did make money. As far as I know, however, none of us got laid. (Did I mention that the liquid was MILK? Did I mention that this guy filled the balloons several hours earlier and didn't refrigerate them? Ever try to get near-rancid milk out of a rented portable stage before it completely spoils or dries? I think we were still cleaning up by the time our last customer sobered up.)
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