Hopefully this thread will be warmly received....

I would like to start a thread where someone can ask serious questions of people of the opposite sex. (Serious questions only please).

This is to help guys better understand girls and girls to better understand guys.



The reason I'm starting this thread is because I have a question that's been bothering me for a while.


I have a female friend (yes, I'm male) here at work. She and I are just friends and I am positive that it will never go further than that.

She's gorgeous. I mean, she could be a model. Me, not that good looking.

Anyway, when I go by her desk or we go out to lunch (in a group) or see each other at the gym, she always seems to be covering up her boobs.

For example, if she's wearing a low cut top and I come by, she immediately seems to pull the top up just a bit to hide her cleavage. Of if she's wearing a jacket, she'll pull that jacket closed. (you know what I'm getting at, right?)

She does have some rather large store-bought boobs.

My question is - should I be insulted? Does she think I'm staring at her boobs? I swear I make a very big effort to always look in her eyes and never look at her boobs. Should I take this personally? Why does she do that?

I'm not a girl but my guess is she's caught you making a very big effort to not look at her 'store bought' boobs.

I don't have large boobs, but I tend to wear kind of tight shirts, and when people approach I find myself pulling up on the top edge of my shirt, or pulling down the bottom if it has creeped up onto my belly, even though I'm not embarrassed by my stomach, or what cleavage I do have. Generally it's more to make sure my shirt is straight, so I look presentable.

She probably does the same thing when just about anyone approaches her. If she's friendly to you, and you're not making her uncomfortable other times, then I wouldn't take it personally.

If it's only something she does with you, yeah. Sorry. It means you HAVE been caught checking them out or trying not to check them out, or made a comment to someone about them that made it back to her.

If it bothers you, say that you are sorry if you've done something to make her feel uncomfortable and then STOP noticing both her boobs and her attempts to cover them. She can either accept your apology and move on, or keep covering herself, but either way, don't bring it up again.

apparently your efforts were not good enough to not notice her boobs are... ehm... man-made after conception.

But yeah, she could also be a "plucky" type. Straightening her clothes like dafty mentioned.

Or maybe she's just a bit unsure of her body, so she covers up as a reflex.

Or maybe you're the guy they talk about at lunch, the girls might be calling you "shifty eyes" amongst themselves and giggle

Ooooo, that's harsh. It has that ring of truth though lol

Girls I have a question, Moes feet, turn on or a turn off?

Also, does my bum look big in this?

Moe's just an android, he has no feet.

Yes. But only from the side.

I like big bums....and so does my mom

Ok, here goes:

I direct this to either guys or girls. It has to do with personal space.




The middle divider to our consoles is a table, about two feet wide and 5 feet long. It is a divider between workstations.

There is a recorder that not every console has. If you need to play it back, generally, we ask someone to do it for you.

It is very far away from coworkers seat.

Yet, this new person (of whom we keep getting new additions to the dress code for "belly shirts, no thin t-shirt material skirts, no inside OUT shirts, no shirts showing cleavage...and this girl is large) gets a call and slides like a slip and slide across the community table and starts leaning over into my work area to listen to her tone out.

She is so high on the console that her feet do not touch the ground. My male worker across from her (across the room) has his mouth wide open in horror as her shirt defied some law of physics somewhere and instead of sliding down to her waist, it went UP, showing pretty much everything below her bra line.

I told her "You know, I can get that for you" and at that point, horrified coworker started busting up laughing and I couldn't help it, I did too.

She is oblivious to how unprofessional she is.

She kicks her shoes off and has bare feet, no socks and will prop them up on the console.

She will take over the community area and eat her meals, chew loudly and is constantly in your space. None of us eat at the community table, we always eat at the other side of our console.

One day, while waiting to relieve a fellow dispatcher, she was standing over her and as my coworker was toning a call, she chewed with her mouth open and spewed rice on her keyboard. I woulda blew up at that point, but my coworker maintained her silence, although she said she thought her head was going to blow off her shoulders.

She struggled in training and for some reason, they put her online and she still struggles.

How on earth do you deal with someone like this, without hurting their feelings?

Would you prefer it to look big out of that?

You don't.

You have to be absolutely blunt about it.

If they're too oblivious to figure it out on their own, then you need to spell it out for them.

Just don't do it in public. Ask to speak to her privately, step outside and explain it all in a mater-of-fact tone. Don't embellish, don't get emotional, but just read off the offenses like you're reading off a grocery list.

I forgot to say, mgmt already addressed these issues (aside from the hogging the community table) because enough people b***hed about it.

We have crabbed about her not being able to do the job either. Mgmt didn't listen to us when she was training. Its kind of our problem now, until she makes a major mistake that makes the news I guess.

The past two weeks I have had an eye twitch.

I agree with Icepigs. I'd also add that as after the conversation, when you see her cross the line, (understanding you can't put a caller on hold) say something. Quietly, possibly just her name and gentle, 'this is the kind of thing I was talking about.'

Some people have never been well socialized, but most can learn.

I would do this except as an anonymous note written in a personal, heartfelt manner. Printed via word processor so an not to point in anyone's direction via handwriting. Left in an envelope in a place where they WILL find it, but not someplace where they would read it publicly (i.e. not left on their station chair).

This is for the girls: What makes you feel the best you could ever feel. (Please leave Ph#)

A sincere, unexpected, convincing compliment.

YMMV

Not that dude. Zip up

I don't think that is a good idea. Anonymous is never taken that seriously. If someone can't say something to my face, or at the very least sign their name to their complaint, I personally wouldn't pay any attention to it.

If you want to print it out and hand it to her however, that would be fine.

And on top of that, you'll make them paranoid that *everyone* in the office potentially thinks bad of them.

We do

I'm going to hell. :(